While reviewing my previous articles on my blog, it occurred to me that while they seem varied, they all point to one thing. I guess I’m all about how we should treat other people. My books  about unconditional love are about friendship, loyalty, trust, respect and consideration for others. Part of consideration for others is how we treat the world around us. For a deeper look, I turned to long-time close friend, John Daly, etiquette expert and president of The Key Class. John offered up some great advice on how social media missteps can haunt you forever. Take a look at what John has to say on this important topic.

Don’t Make These Social Media Missteps, Which Will Haunt You Forever
-By John Daly

Because we are either sitting in front of a computer or focused on our cell phones and not looking at others face-to-face, it is often easy to fall into what I call “social media pitfalls.” These are the habits that we fall into without thinking it through. Everything is so fast-paced these days that it is easy to fall into specific traps. What’s important to remember is that once something goes out on the Internet, i.e. social media; it is there for all the world to see. And, at some point in time, what you’ve posted may come back to haunt you, whether it is a prospective hiring manager checking you out or someone who may be interested in you personally.

The following pitfalls will leave a negative impression that you may not mean to convey. Let’s examine them:

·       Airing personal dislikes related to politics, religious beliefs, wealth vs. poverty, obesity, or eating disorders. It is best to avoid these topics.

·       Telling off-color jokes or using profanity. Doing so paints you as a rude and inconsiderate person who offends others.

·       Criticizing others about their appearance, beliefs or behavior. It is best not to criticize those who are offensive but rather defend those being criticized if you must get involved. Rule of thumb is to avoid involvement.

·       Commenting about race, sexual behavior, gambling and drinking, guns and weapons, drug use, gender-related humor or poking fun at the disabled. These are taboo.

·       Relating personal or confidential information about yourself or others, such as reporting a death in someone’s family, an illness of another, or a pregnancy, etc. Let those involved handle them. Even if you are reporting about yourself, it is best not to use social media to announce these issues. It is more appropriate to discuss them in person (or over the phone if distance is an issue) with those close to you. Once it is common knowledge, then allow discussion on social media if you so choose. 

·       Providing a blow-by-blow status of what you are eating, where you are going (on a day-to-day basis) or that you are sitting on the sofa with your significant other. No one cares and this soon becomes irritating to others.

·       Publishing photos of others, using location-based tagging, or even tagging the names of others in public updates without permission. Respect the privacy of others.

·       Using social media to rant and rave. Don’t use it to rant about the horrible customer service of a restaurant or company. Social media isn’t your own personal soapbox, and it really makes you look petty when you do so.

·       Presenting an overall negative demeanor or “voice” on social media. Don’t be like Debbie Downer on Saturday Night Live. No one likes to be brought down on a continuous basis, and you’ll find yourself “defriended” more often than not.

It is best to always convey a positive, upbeat and respectful “persona” on social media. People like to be around happy and positive.  That goes for business and life! Keep it in mind the next time you sign on!

Plus, here's a good Article Applying Social Media to Business

John Daly is the founder and president of The Key Class, the go-to guide for job search success. To learn more about The Key Class or get  information on Thursday night classes in Santa Barbara, go to www.thekeyclass.com. To get John’s book, click The Key Class.

Follow John on Facebook at http://www.facebook.com/thekeyclass and Twitter @johnjdalyjr.

Last week I featured Time to Let Go by Christoph Fischer. What I love about the entire topic is that it really does deal with loving others unconditionally. Specifically, it's about a family dealing with Alzheimers.

Most people I know have been touched by this dreaded disease in some way. I asked Christoph to describe his motivation for the book, and he sent me the following that I wanted to share with all of you.

From Christoph:
I grew up with only a few friends and with two older siblings who were miles ahead of me in their lives. My mother was a busy woman and so I spent a lot of time at my aunt’s house. She had always wanted to have four children but lost one child at birth. Her other three children were much older and didn’t need her much anymore, so my visits to her house filled a gap for her, in the same way as her attention to me filled a need in me. A match made in heaven.

Philomena, or Minna, as we called her, remained a source of happiness and encouragement throughout my life. I was always welcome and treated like a precious gift. She smoked, but she outlived both of her sisters (taken in their 40s  by cancer).

In her late 70s,  Minna was diagnosed with Alzheimers’ disease. Well, I thought, at least she lives, belittling her misfortune without much awareness.

The next time I saw her, her trademark happiness however seemed far away. She was crying bitterly because she had lost her hearing aid, a very expensive one, too. Suddenly her life seemed to revolve around retrieving things. She was spared the physical pain of her sisters, but she suffered severe mental torture.

She fortunately reached a happier stage as medication and care helped reduce the misery in her life, but the attention she needed was a huge toll to the family. Despite her memory loss, she seemed to vaguely recognize me; me, the ‘child’ that lived abroad and who rarely came to visit. She had not lost her warmth and happiness, or maybe she had just regained it after the bad patch I mentioned earlier.

Very recently I saw her again, almost unrecognizable: withdrawn, very unresponsive and almost reduced to basic functioning. Surprisingly, she could still read, and when I came to see her for a second time her eyes shone as if she did recognize me. I spoke an emotional goodbye to her, and her hand was shaky and excited as she listened to my speech. She even responded by talking, using words that didn’t fit exactly but which expressed an emotion similar to what one would expect from a loving aunt in such a situation.

With her loving kindness in mind, I created Biddy, the mother in Time to let Go, a selfless, giving woman, who even in her illness manages to show her innate kindness.  I know it would be wrong to praise her for a gift that many other patients do not have, through no fault of their own. Losing one’s memory and control of one’s life is a terrible thing that you can only understand when it happens to you.

Time to Let Go is partly meant as a tribute to my brave aunt and to the wonderful people who help in making her life dignified and as happy as is possible.
*****
Time to Let Go will be out in May, and I'll let you know as soon as it is available. An admirable book for anyone to read, but especially worthwhile for those dealing with a serious illness of a loved one.

Til Next Time,
Carol

I became interested in Christoph Fischer when he wrote beautiful reviews of all three of my books. Christoph has written an amazing book, Time to Let Go, inspired by his personal experiences with suffers of Alzheimers.

Time to Let Go is a contemporary family drama set in Britain. Following a traumatic incident at work, Stewardess Hanna Korhonen decides  to take time off work and leaves her home in London to spend quality time with her elderly parents in rural England. There she finds that neither can she run away from her problems, nor does her family provide the easy getaway place for which she had hoped. Her mother suffers from Alzheimer's Disease and, while being confronted with the consequences of her issues at work, she and her entire family are forced to reassess their lives.

The book takes a close look at family dynamics and at human nature in a time of crisis. Their challenges, individual and shared, take the Korhonens on a journey of self-discovery and redemption. My kind of book!

I wanted to alert you about this great book and let you know that it will be available on May 15th. Until then, I will be having Christoph guest blogging and letting  you know more about his inspiration. Mark this book down on your calendars for May 15th. I'll make sure you are aware of where to grab it!

Til Next Time,
Carol

I know this will seem like a blatant promotion to many of you, but I just read Christoph Fischer's review of my memoir published in 2007. I've never had anyone "get" what I was trying to say as beautifully as Christoph does.

Why am I sharing this with you? Because there are so many people out there who carry pain with them every day to the point that they can't live in the present because they are so hooked on the past. And, because if you want to change your life, you must make a conscious decision to do so, and do it yourself. No one else can do it for  you.

I didn't write this book to be a commercial success. Never thought it would be. Just a personal story told openly and without shame in the small hope that it might someday help one other person.

So, if Christoph's review encourages you to read Riding Through It, I hope it helps you. At any rate, just know that you aren't alone out there.

Christoph gave the book a 5-Star Review on Goodreads. Thank you, Christoph, for having an open heart. Here it is:

"Riding Through it: A Memoir" by Carol McKibben is a moving, captivating and impressive memoir. It tells the story of a woman who experienced violence and conflict more than love and affection from a very early age onwards. Her family and her experiences with the other sex form the basis for an unhappy life until the author learns how to transform her life and turn it around.

It is inspiring to read this raw and honest account of a tragic life and see how concepts, such as positive manifestation and projection, manage to change the woman's perspective and perception of her life and enable her to come out at the other end happy and sane.

McKibben does an excellent job at portraying the naivety of her younger self with a voice that shows the magnitude of her hurt and pain but she does not stop to lick her wound to get our sympathy. She keeps going to the next chapter in her life, 'riding through it' until the moment of redemption, salvation and resolve.

To me it is this accomplished balance and hitting just the right tone that makes this book so distinct from lesser books in the genre. Highly recommended." -Christoph Fischer

Til Next time,
Carol

My publisher, Troll River Publications, just released a blog that I love! It is all about selecting a cover for a book series.

No matter what you do at work, whether it is selecting covers for reports, photos for blogs, design Web sites, etc., there's something here for you. If you think not, just enjoy the process of being creative!

Have to share. Hope you enjoy! Click HERE to read it.

Til later,
Carol

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm in a playful mood today. My dressage training lesson got canceled, and I'm not focusing all that well! Ever happen to you? I know, I need to work, and I shouldn't admit it, but let's remember Hagar the Horrible's famous quote, "Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's ALL small stuff!

So rather than write on a serious topic today, I thought we could have some fun! My daughter Stephanie sent me the image above. Take the first letter of your first name and then the last letter of your last name and the words next to each, and you will magically have your werewolf name. Mine is Ravenous Wolf!

What's yours? Send it to me in a comment.

Til next time!
Carol