Carol F. McKibben
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  • Reign - The Assault of Lucifer Morningstar - Book 1 Silver Blood Knight Series

Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

My Books

Snow Blood - Episode 1

2/25/2014

 
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ONE WEEK BEFORE RELEASE!

SNOW BLOOD:
Episode 1 available exclusively on TRP!

Join the dark world of Brogio, the first vampire! 

When Brogio must turn Snow, a beautiful white husky, in order to save the dog, a series of events are unleashed that reveal a sinister plot against the father of all vampires. As life and true death experiences bond the two together, they unravel a conspiracy that when resolved may return Selene, the love of Brogio’s life, back to him and set him free from the lonely existence that has plagued him for thousands of years!

From the author of Luke’s Tale, follow Snow Blood, an epic story of the first vampire as told through the eyes of his kindred dog!

Follow along with a weekly episode for the next six weeks from March 4th - April 8th!

But get it by special offer a week early from Troll River Publishing!!
PDF & .epub formats available!



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Training and Trust

2/18/2014

 
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 Along with millions of others, I’ve been glued to the television watching the Olympics. Besides the half-pipe, my secret pleasure is ice dancing. I was thrilled to see Meryl Davis and Charlie White win gold. As I followed every twist, dip and turn, each side-by-side so dangerously close together, all I could think of was the total trust they obviously had in each other.


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Later, I went online to view a video about them entitled, Training and Trust. It takes years of training to perfect what they do, and as many years to build the trust that they have for each other. But the years of training have allowed them to build that trust.

What is trust, anyway? It is the belief that “I am safe. You are safe. The world of us is safe.”

No relationship, athletic in nature or not, can survive without trust. Once it is broken, it is virtually impossible to restore without years of rebuilding it. Can it be rebuilt? Yes, if the one who has broken the trust is reliable, consistent, responsive and comforting.


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Here are 8 guidelines loosely based on Sheri Meyers’ book, Chatting or Cheating,  to help rebuild trust. While the book primarily deals with healing romantic partnerships, the guidelines can be applied to any relationship.

• Live up to your word – call when you say you will – show up when you say you will.  

• Allow your significant other time and space to vent. This means answering many questions, allowing judgment and rage aimed at you while you stand strong and apologize and reach out with compassion and understanding.

• Do what you can do to change the situation and make it better.

• Accept that there will be inevitable bumps, obstacles, and setbacks. Have a plan in place to help you stay calm and centered while you navigate through the ups and downs rather than being shocked and overreacting.

• Take full responsibility for your actions and choices and determine how you won’t make the same mistakes again.

• No lies, no excuses, no exceptions. Keep your promises. Maintain unwavering integrity.

• Show affection, attention and appreciation every day in big and small ways.

• When the relationship gets stuck or starts to struggle, ask yourself, “How would love respond?” Tell the other person how much he or she means to you and how sorry you are for the pain you caused. Assure with “We will get through this.” Repeat as necessary.

Meyers is a relationship therapist with more than 20 years of experience. She asserts that the road back from distrust to trust takes perseverance, patience, commitment and time. Once you come to grips with it, the more successful you will be with healing the relationship. When you think about it, these guidelines work for maintaining trust and not just rebuilding it.

Til Next Time,
Carol


There's One in Every Crowd

2/11/2014

 
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My husband and I went with another couple to a bull riding contest on Sunday. That’s a story unto itself. I was relieved to learn that the owners and cowboys treat these bulls much like I treat my show horse-their care, safety and comfort is paramount. But I digress.

I found myself seated behind a very large man wearing a Stetson. The hat didn’t matter. I could still see everything. The problem arose about mid-way through the competition when the man with the Stetson stood up and remained standing. Luckily, I could see around him, but he blocked the rest of the activity for my companions seated to my left.

My girlfriend who was positioned two seats to my left called out to him. “Excuse me, sir, but would you mind sitting down? We can’t see the competition.”

He turned to her and said, “I have a sore leg and need to stretch it.” Then, he turned back to the show and remained standing.

Again, my girlfriend called out to him. “Well, would you mind standing in the aisle to the left next to the railing so that we can see the show?”

He turned to her again and gave her an “I-will-kill-you-with-my-stare” glare. His response? “I don’t want to disturb all these nice people in my row.” Was he implying we weren’t nice people? Then he turned back to the competition.

My husband Mark, who was seated to my right looked at my girlfriend and yelled, “There’s one in every crowd!” That got the man in the hat’s attention, and he turned to give Mark a withering “drop-dead” look. Mark smiled up at him.

After another five minutes or so had passed, the man in the hat sat back down. But we noticed with interest at the end of the show that his leg seemed to be fine as he hopped over the seats and scampered down the aisle to get the winner of the competition to sign his hat!

I wanted to share this example to underscore the self-absorption and lack of respect that people often have for each other. It would be a kinder, gentler place if we stopped to think about others instead of always making ourselves numero uno, don’t you think?

So next time you’re at an event, avoid being the bully who is always in every crowd!

Til next time,

Carol


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    Carol McKibben

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