Carol F. McKibben
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  • Reign - The Assault of Lucifer Morningstar - Book 1 Silver Blood Knight Series

Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

My Books

Someone to Go Through Time with...

2/25/2016

 
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Meet Sweetie. She's our 12-year old foster. Sweetie lived the past 12 years with her owner, who adored her but recently passed away. Because she knew she was terminally ill and to protect her beloved dog, she left Sweetie a trust fund.  The fund has handled all of Sweetie's medical issues, and the vet has declared her physically fit. But, Sweetie has other issues. She loves humans, wants to bond with her own special human, but she doesn't get along well with other dogs. She doesn't play nice, probably because she was the one-and-only to her master.

So, Sweetie is looking for a forever home, where she can be the only dog. Someone that doesn't mind that she likes to just hang and takes a lot of naps. But she loves car rides and just being with her person. I know because she's attached herself to me as a substitute for her Mom. Why don't I just keep her, then, you ask? Because I have the maximum number of dogs, and there are so many others that need my help.

Yes, she's an old dog, and she's a pit bull, but she was named "Sweetie" for a reason. She really is a sweet one, except to other dogs. Oftentimes I wonder why people have such a low tolerance for older beings - dogs or human. Maybe because the are set in their ways? Perhaps because they can be cantankerous or need too much attention?

My mother-in-law lives in an assisted living community five minutes from us. On our frequent visits to check up on her or take her out or over to our house, I've observed so many sad, broken, lonely elderly people who have been warehoused and forgotten. Their families apparently have little use for them. How can that be right? When you love someone or something, it should be a commitment for life. My mother-in-law often just shakes her head on our way out and says, "It's so nice to have family that cares."

In Sweetie's case, she lost her "family" through no fault of her owner. Death separated them, and even through death, her person makes sure she has what she needs. She took the extra step to care for her beloved friend. It saddens me to know that many of us turn our backs on once-loved individuals - human or dogs.

So, if you can find it in your heart to love an older dog who only wants to find another person to go through time with, a dog that will be forever devoted to you, contact me about Sweetie. And hug your parents and grandparents every day and let them know you love them. You'll be surprised at how good it will make you feel.

Til Next Time,
Carol

P.S. Want a free eBook copy of Luke's Tale? Click here now.


Pushing the Boundaries

2/18/2016

 
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As some of you know, Mark and I have an 18-month-old yellow Lab named Thor. Labs take a long time to mature, so Thor is still very much a puppy. That means that he's always pushing the boundaries to see just how far he can test us.

Last night while I was preparing all the doggies dinners, Thor tested me. He jumped up and placed his front paws on the counter where I had filled each dish. His intention, of course, was to try and snatch some food off the counter. When I gave him a sharp correction and growled "Off!" he stared at me and didn't budge. It took an extra correction to make him back down onto the floor.

That's just one example of how he tests me. None of it is malicious, but all of  it could become a very bad pattern of behavior if I allowed it to go on.

That instance stimulated a mental segued right into how men and women push the boundaries with each other. My thoughts immediately traveled to a friend of mine who recently broke up with her boyfriend of more than a decade. It wasn't that she didn't love him. But, a series of incidents occurred which made it clear to her that he always put his needs before hers. This had been going on for 10 years. He would "test" her with cruel or insensitive behavior for no other reason than he was self-centered and wanted his way ... about everything.

You see, she loved him, thought he was the man of her dreams, so she let all those "tests" pile up without pushing back. Then, that behavior evolved into an unbearable situation for her. At first, he thought she would easily come back to him. She wanted to, but friends convinced her she deserved so much more. So, they introduced her to a guy they thought she would really like. Guess what? This new guy thinks she is the most beautiful girl in the world. He treats her with respect; showers her with attention; and is providing new and exciting experiences for her. It's been a number of months now, and she couldn't be happier. Finally, someone who makes her feel great about herself when she is with him!

As for the old boyfriend? He's in shock. He can't believe she's moved on. 

Both humans and canines need to understand their boundaries with others. The rule of thumb is respect and consideration that run both ways. You can't walk all over others without eventually suffering the consequences, and it's up to you and your significant other to set the boundaries and respect them for each other. It's all a part of that unconditional love I keep talking about in my books.

Til Next Time,
Carol

A Long-Awaited Trip

2/11/2016

 
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I'm excited. We're taking a long-awaited trip. We rarely get away anymore just for fun. It's usually business or some extension of work. But, this time, it's four whole days of togetherness.

I'm not sure how many of you get the importance of "togetherness time." Without other people, without the kids or relatives, without responsibilities. When was the last time you climbed out of bed without a load of responsibility for any particular given day? Or, for that matter, when was the last time you decided just to stay in bed all morning? Who has that luxury? Very few of us.

We discussed a late breakfast in bed and a day of just exploring a place we've never visited for our first of four days. No specific agenda awaits us, other than a dinner with some new friends one of the days. Such a luxury. A time to recharge and focus on each other. A time to really catch up, say the things we've been wanting to discuss and rekindle a little romance.

So often we get caught up in the everyday world. Let's cross off all the things on our "to do" list ... but don't forget to pick up Grandma's pills or that new dog food we want to try with the pups. Wait! I don't have time to do any of that because my "to do" list for work is so long.

Sometimes it seems like a vicious cycle ... I'm that little mouse running in his circular treadmill. So, that's why it's so important to take a breath and re-calibrate, not just for yourself but for your relationship. Relationships don't fare well without that constant connection. Sometimes  everyday life causes us to create a major disconnect. So, there's much to be said about taking time to smell the roses. In my case, it would be Calla Lilies (my favorite.)

After all, none of us know how long we have together. We need to make the most of the precious time that we do have. Danielle Michaels make that point for me in my previous post. So work hard, yes; but rejuvenate by focusing on the people and things you love, especially the one with whom you chose to go through time.

Start planning that long-awaited trip today!

Til Next Time,
Carol


To Jon with Love, Danielle

2/4/2016

 
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Jon Michaels, the son of a very dear friend of mine, passed away  from intestinal complications on December 14, 2015. I knew Jon for about 30 years of his life. His wife, Danielle, and I are friends on Facebook.

Yesterday, she posted this message, and as I wiped away the tears, I thought, what a beautiful declaration of unconditional love. I asked Danielle if I might share it, and she agreed.

Here is her message:
“This is so bizarre and yet completely perfect and what a reminder of what we had....

“As many of you know there is a missing lottery ticket out there, worth $63 million, and tomorrow is the deadline to claim it. Well I thought, I should check Jon's car, you never know, we only live 5 miles from that 7/11 store where it was sold, and the boys play baseball right there. So I go look, and I find this cut up piece of paper in his center console. Tears fell as I remembered writing these words and then something amazing happened to bring it full circle.


The note reads:
Sometimes I wonder to myself. Why am I so lucky?

Why have I been blessed with the most amazing husband and man to be the father of my child? He works hard and learns well. He's intelligent and amazingly funny and able to laugh with me about anything and everything.

He really does love me. I've never had to spend a day wondering if he does because he proves it to me with every breath. He is a generous and light-hearted lover. He provides all you could desire in the way of materials but he's also my ideal companion. He is simply the best man for me and to have found him was like hitting the lotto jackpot.


“It's an email I sent him on Aug 29, 2005. He must have printed it and kept it close. I wrote it while enjoying one of the countless moments I had spent pondering what I did to deserve him, his love and the amazing life we shared. The last line is just such a perfect reminder and so odd that a search for this elusive ticket is what led me to find this note in the first place. I love you and miss you so much, Jon."

Danielle’s words and her note to Jon say it all. This reminder urges me to entreat you to enjoy every moment you have with those you love. Don’t ever waste that time with pettiness or unnecessary anger. Do whatever you can to make that time as precious as the moments that Danielle and Jon shared.

Til Next Time,

Carol
 
 

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