Not long ago, a young friend of mine asked me what lesson I had learned from my lifetime of experience. I didn't even have to think about my answer. I told her that the biggest lesson I had learned was that "change" was a constant in my life. Just as I settle in with something, it changes. Such it is with clients, work, riding dressage, life in general, and particularly relationships.
Relationships are always beginning, ending or growing in some way. People pass through our lives for a variety of reasons, but, they are all here to teach us something. When we have learned the lesson each has to teach us, they move on. That premise was put for in the book, The Celestine Prophesy, and I believe it because it has been so in my life.
I'm not writing this because some earth-shattering change has recently occurred to me personally. What I am interested in, rather than beginning or ending relationships, is the way they "grow," which is in essence the way they "change."
I just read a very interesting article by Terence Stone entitled, "Growing Together, Not Apart." In it, Stone talks about how he and his wife gradually drifted away from each other over several years of marriage. They struggled, but their relationship wasn't working. They turned to counseling, and Stone bottom-lined the results in a single paragraph:
"Ultimately, what we learned was that if there was to be communication, we had to speak and listen to one another with intense presence, honesty, patience, and compassion. And above all, we realized that we had to accept that our relationship was changing, that it needed to change."
Such an important lesson. Sometimes relationships change because they need to change. If you are like me and hate change, you sometimes rail against it. But, don't. I've learned in my lifetime that when change is inevitable, you need to go with the flow and be willing to change. To paraphrase Stone, when we resist, we lose the opportunity to grow. When we resist, we create a recipe for resentment, anger, and ultimately, apathy. We will never reach perfection, but we can remember that living and loving is changing and growing. Resist all you want, but change is inevitable. Growth only happens when we choose to embrace change one moment at a time.
Til Next Time,
Carol
Relationships are always beginning, ending or growing in some way. People pass through our lives for a variety of reasons, but, they are all here to teach us something. When we have learned the lesson each has to teach us, they move on. That premise was put for in the book, The Celestine Prophesy, and I believe it because it has been so in my life.
I'm not writing this because some earth-shattering change has recently occurred to me personally. What I am interested in, rather than beginning or ending relationships, is the way they "grow," which is in essence the way they "change."
I just read a very interesting article by Terence Stone entitled, "Growing Together, Not Apart." In it, Stone talks about how he and his wife gradually drifted away from each other over several years of marriage. They struggled, but their relationship wasn't working. They turned to counseling, and Stone bottom-lined the results in a single paragraph:
"Ultimately, what we learned was that if there was to be communication, we had to speak and listen to one another with intense presence, honesty, patience, and compassion. And above all, we realized that we had to accept that our relationship was changing, that it needed to change."
Such an important lesson. Sometimes relationships change because they need to change. If you are like me and hate change, you sometimes rail against it. But, don't. I've learned in my lifetime that when change is inevitable, you need to go with the flow and be willing to change. To paraphrase Stone, when we resist, we lose the opportunity to grow. When we resist, we create a recipe for resentment, anger, and ultimately, apathy. We will never reach perfection, but we can remember that living and loving is changing and growing. Resist all you want, but change is inevitable. Growth only happens when we choose to embrace change one moment at a time.
Til Next Time,
Carol
RSS Feed