Mark and I have been married for 39 years. It's been filled with ups and downs that have always been fortified by love. Real love. Unconditional love.
That was put the test this year. You see, our children are grown, and our dogs and my horses have been our "babies" for about 20 years. It has just been us at home alone with our pups and the wonderful visits from our children and grandchildren.
But, this year we had to face something that a lot of folks our age have to confront. Mark's mother is nearing 85. She had a stroke, and it left her definitely functional but unable to really live alone any longer. Mark came to me with more of a statement than a question. "I think we need to bring Mom home to live with us."
Like most selfish, self-absorbed writers, my immediate reaction was not positive. Did this mean I had to give up all my spare time (like there is any) to be a caregiver? How would I cope with another woman living in my home 24/7? Mark's mother and I had never been the closest of friends. How would that play out? But then, I thought about it. If this were my mother, Mark wouldn't even hesitate. He would move her in immediately. And then it struck me. When you married this man, it was in sickness and health, richer or poorer and whatever else comes with it. It was time to step up to the plate, unconditionally.
So, I took a step back, took a deep breath and gave my unconditional support.
How has it worked out? We're six months into it, and we've made it work. That's what we do when we love another person unconditionally. We support their needs and don't go screaming the other way when life takes a turn and things change.
So, the next time life takes a turn for you and changes your comfortable circumstances, think about how you should be supporting those you love, and those they love - AKA being unselfish.
Til next time,
Carol
That was put the test this year. You see, our children are grown, and our dogs and my horses have been our "babies" for about 20 years. It has just been us at home alone with our pups and the wonderful visits from our children and grandchildren.
But, this year we had to face something that a lot of folks our age have to confront. Mark's mother is nearing 85. She had a stroke, and it left her definitely functional but unable to really live alone any longer. Mark came to me with more of a statement than a question. "I think we need to bring Mom home to live with us."
Like most selfish, self-absorbed writers, my immediate reaction was not positive. Did this mean I had to give up all my spare time (like there is any) to be a caregiver? How would I cope with another woman living in my home 24/7? Mark's mother and I had never been the closest of friends. How would that play out? But then, I thought about it. If this were my mother, Mark wouldn't even hesitate. He would move her in immediately. And then it struck me. When you married this man, it was in sickness and health, richer or poorer and whatever else comes with it. It was time to step up to the plate, unconditionally.
So, I took a step back, took a deep breath and gave my unconditional support.
How has it worked out? We're six months into it, and we've made it work. That's what we do when we love another person unconditionally. We support their needs and don't go screaming the other way when life takes a turn and things change.
So, the next time life takes a turn for you and changes your comfortable circumstances, think about how you should be supporting those you love, and those they love - AKA being unselfish.
Til next time,
Carol
RSS Feed