What is your goal?
Is it more important to gain a new understanding than to win or be proven right? Is it better to try to restore the harmony that previously existed and get back to a productive relationship? Trying to prove you are right and simply winning really doesn’t heal the relationship. Does it?
Have you examined the issue from both sides?
When you have a misunderstanding with someone, do you consider what that person’s perspective might be? Could it be different than yours? Consider taking a hard look at the other person’s perspective as well as your own. Is this person with whom you’ve had a misunderstanding a valuable person in your life? Is it important to recover the relationship?
Is it important to focus on the other person rather than yourself?
Think about the other person’s value. What does the person bring to your life and those of others? What’s going on in his or her life? Does that affect his or her perspective? Remember to consider these questions to keep the focus away from yourself and on the other person.
How does this person evaluate others?
If you want to discover another person’s perspective, look at how they judge others. This will give you a better understanding of that person. Some people evaluate others based solely on people skills and the ability to communicate well. Others judge by the ability of a person to influence others. Yet others base their judgments on the problem-solving capabilities of others. You’ll find others who judge based on outward appearance alone. Understanding how the other person judges another will help you understand his or her perspective.
Consider the other person's fears
Everyone has conscious and unconscious fears. A few fears include: criticism; failure; not getting work done on time; being taken advantage of; or not being loved or liked. Considering a person’s fears can provide insight into the misunderstanding between the two of you.
If you are struggling with issues with a friend, relative or loved one, always consider that it is a simple understanding. Before approaching him or her about it, try to sort out that person’s perspective. Once you open up to looking at it from their perspective, you will have a better chance of resolving your issues and putting the relationship back on track.
Til Next Time,