Carol F. McKibben
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Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

My Books

So You Think You Can Dance

6/18/2015

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I'll admit it. I'm hooked on So You Think You Can Dance. More so than Dancing with the Stars, it has rekindled an interest in dance in America. Through the Dizzy Feet Foundation, this show has young and old alike up on their feet and moving. I am amazed every week at the incredible dedication, raw talent and grace that adorns the stage on this show.

The current season more than any other has impressed me, and the show is still in the audition stages. Why? Because of the judges' handling of each contestant. Particularly the two new judges but particularly Jason Derulo. I didn't know much about Jason before his appearance on SYTYCD. Oh, I'd heard his name and watched him perform a few times, but I didn't know what a compassionate human being he is until now.

On two occasions in particular he proved his willingness to help others have meaningful experiences they wouldn't have had without his intervention. In one instance, a young man with Downs Syndrome auditioned, and while the other two judges passed on his moving on, Jason handed the young hopeful a ticket to the next stage of the competition. He told the young man named Cody: "This is on my dime. I am so impressed with how far you have come." Just the thought that this young man who had overcome his disability and had the courage to get up in front of millions of people to try and win a ticket to the next level moved Derulo to action.

There I go again about giving those around us the helping hand they need to experience and grow.

The same thing happened with a young girl who had been in a debilitating car accident when she was a child. Even with her leg disfigured and her doctors not understanding how she could even walk, let alone dance, she performed beautifully. Maybe not up to the same standard as those who had gone before her. But, when it came to Derulo, after the head judge had passed on her, he said, "I want you to have the chance to try even more." That turned the tide, and the young woman  moved to the next round.

This just illustrates how giving encouragement to others can change their world. Neither contestant may go much further in the competition, but what a wonderful experience and valuable lessons they will have learned along the way.

My hat is off to you, Jason Derulo! Your attitude, compassion and willingness to see beyond this competition are awe-inspiring!

Til Next Time!

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The Importance of Being Genuine

6/4/2015

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Being genuine is essentially being you. It should be the easiest thing in the world for anyone to do. But, if you do an online search, you will be amazed at all the discussion about it. So, perhaps for many, it is difficult. Why do you think?

For as long as I can remember, schools and businesses have told us to conform. We’ve been asked to mask our individual personalities and be reflections of that school or company’s values. The inauthentic world has been telling us it is unsafe to be real. Now, in today’s age, we are being encouraged to be ourselves, after years of being told not to be.

Why Being Genuine Matters In order to get past all of that, let’s look at why it is essential to be genuine. The simple answer: it is a key part of developing trust and building relationships with others or clients or a community. Relationships are based on trust. This trust is developed through:

·        consistency;

·        your enthusiasm about what you do and who you are;

·        if you are reliable through your actions;

·        if your actions take into consideration the best interests of others; and

·        your belief in what you are selling (all of us are selling something).

 And when you are genuine, you will experience the following benefits of being human, such as:

·        creativity

·        honesty

·        integrity

·        self-esteem

·        joy

·        inner peace and

·        unconditional love.

A Word of Caution
In today’s world, however, there is one caveat to all of this. Don’t confuse being genuine with your appearance. For instance, if you are searching for a job, it is critical that you do match yourself to the job and the company you are seeking. This is essential in the way you dress, your hair, personal hygiene, your style and personality. If you don’t appear to fit into a company environment, you won’t get the job. If you are radically different from the environment in which you are interviewing, consider that it is the wrong place for you. Determine to match yourself to a job environment for which you are suited. Once you have the job, being genuine will help you build relationships.


How to Recognize Who You Truly Are
For some of you, being genuine is no problem at all. For others this seemingly simple idea is much harder. For those people, I have borrowed, from Jason Teitelman, an editor and blogger, a simple, two-step exercise aimed at putting you back in touch with your genuine self. Write 10 statements about yourself you know are true. These could be beliefs by which you live your life or simply things that you do every day. Here are mine:

  1. I believe I was born to write for myself and others.
2. I love all animals, and am passionate about my work with dog rescue.
3. I value making logical decisions.
4. I am totally devoted to becoming a better dressage competitor.
5. I like causal clothes more than dressing up.
6. I truly love my friends and family.

7. I love and enjoy the companionship of my dogs, Neo and Thor, and my horse, Aramis.
8. I like to help and advise other people.
9. I survived an abusive marriage, where I was physically and emotionally misused.
10. I am happiest when I am riding or writing.


These are not to be shared with others, but only for your own use. I only share mine with you because I want to be genuine. After you have your ten statements, print them out and hang them in a place where they’re visible while you’re working. When you are working, take a look at your 10 statements and ask yourself if what you’re about to share genuinely reflects who you are.

Are there dangers in being genuine? Yes! It makes you vulnerable. It makes you open to others. But is that a bad thing? No. Be open to what life brings to you. Never close yourself off. People love others who are friendly, sociable, honest, trustworthy and real. And that spells S-U-C-C-E-S-S.

Til Next Time,
Carol
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