“Real love means caring about another without the thought of what we might get for ourselves. Real love is when we don’t put conditions on people in order to love them. It’s not real love when other people like us for doing what they want us to do,” Sara explains in Luke’s Tale – A Story of Unconditional Love.

It's as simple as that. Do you put conditions on others that you love? What might those conditions be? How about:

Your being unemployed is a problem.
You are a pain when you are sick. Why do you have to be sick?
You have gotten overweight. You didn't used to be.
You don't make as much money as I thought you would.

The friend in the photo above would never think those things.

Do you get the idea? Share with me if you think you might be placing conditions on those you love, and let's have a conversation about it.

I look forward to hearing from you.
Carol

I was so struck by the sight of ordinary people, not just first-responders, running into the chaos immediately after the bombing at the Boston Marathon on Monday.

I’ve been focusing on unconditional love in my writings of late, and I can’t think of anything more unconditional than another human being ready to go into harm’s way and lay down his or her life to try and save another person.

Such it was with Carlos Arredondo who was there with his wife handing out American flags to runners to inspire them. Carlos, who works with returning vets, lost a son to a sniper bullet in Iraq in 2004 and a second son to suicide, triggered by depression over his brother’s death, a few years later.  

When the blast went off, Carlos sprang into action, running toward the danger, even jumping fences to help any way that he could. Finding a man on the ground with both his legs blown off and in severe shock, Carlos got the critically-wounded man in a wheelchair and pinched a bleeding artery closed. Because of Carlos, this man is alive today.

And this is only one instance of hundreds of people who, instead of running away in fear, turned and ran into the terror of the moment.

We read a lot of sad stories every day now about the evils of mankind. But, I still have a lot of hope. Heroes like Carlos and those who ran without thought of their own safety to help others tell me that it is within us to love each other unconditionally.

Until next time,

Carol

My good friend and client, John Daly, published a blog about kindness this past Monday. I liked it so much that, with his permission, I wanted to share it with you. It goes to the heart of unconditional love for me. Being kind in this world will make all the difference in how others will treat you going forward. Read John's blog, and tell me what you think.

A Prerequisite Quality for Success
You wouldn’t think that kindness would have a lot to do with success. But, one of the most successful and beloved film critics of our time believed it was an essential part of his world, and his success. We lost Roger Ebert last week, but his words really resonated when I read them today. They got me to thinking that, in the long run, it’s the good guys who finish on top, contrary to the belief of some.

In simple form, kindness is the quality of being warmhearted and considerate and humane and sympathetic. It is the tendency to be forgiving. The question has been posed: Is kindness a quality or an ability? I think it can be both. Some people are just born with an inner quality of kindness. Others of us develop it through effort.

Why do I believe that kindness is a prerequisite to success? Kindness and likability go hand-in-hand. And, people are drawn to those qualities. I can name hundreds of likable, kind people who are huge successes – Oprah, Tom Hanks, JK Rowling, Justin Timberlake. If you do a search on the Internet and type in “famous kind people,” those are a few of the names that pop up. These people are loved and admired the world over. Are supposedly rude celebrities successful? Many are…but would you rather be loved or be the object of amusement because of your rude behavior?

The majority of us are drawn to those who are kind. But why? Let’s look at the qualities of kind/likable people.

- They maintain a positive, upbeat attitude.
- They listen, actively.
- They are fun to be around and have a sense of humor.
- They are friendly and carry a warm smile for everyone!
- They admit mistakes and apologize sincerely.
- They take a genuine interest in others.
- They are authentic.
- They have the ability to make those around them feel better about themselves when they are with them! (It is widely rumored that President Bill Clinton has such a quality.)
- They respect others through their gestures, body language, words and responses, and consideration of others.
- They show concern for the comfort and need of others.
- They give their time freely and don’t rush anyone when spending time with them.

If it is important to you to draw people to you, and you weren’t one of the lucky ones born with inner kindness, draw upon the list above to develop it through effort. If you do, you will notice a difference in the people around you and how they respond to you. Put these qualities into your job search success toolkit and put them to work on your way to success! Watch the video below for an idea of where you can start to develop your kindness qualities.

To learn more about John Daly, President of The Key Class, and all the good work he is doing in the world, visit www.thekeyclass.com.

I attended the launch event for Authors Tour USA last Saturday at Webster’s Fine Stationary and Book Store in Pasadena, California. I am proud to be among the authors that represented us that day. Two spoke about writing screen plays, one about her book on self-defense for women and another about birthing her first novel, finally, after 17 years of drafting, writing and re-writing.

But what was notable about all of them was the passion with which they spoke about their work. It was obvious that even though they are now published authors, they don’t write for the money. They do it because it’s their passion.

And this leads me to the questions: What’s your passion? What are you doing to fuel that passion? Are you working on it every day?

No matter if you want to excel as an athlete, an artist, a scientist, as a business entreprenuer or, yes, even a writer, it’s up to you to make it happen. The power is in you. It won’t come from anyone else.

“Anything in life worth having is worth working for.” –Andrew Carnegie

Yes, it’s going to be a lot of work. And, when you get good at it, it’s going to be even more work…but, by then, you won’t care, because the passion will have consumed you. All you have to do is fuel it. Work hard, read everything that you can about that for which you strive, participate in your passion, surround yourself with people of like-minded goals, encourage others, and they will encourage you!

Don’t let a sense of entitlement let you sit back and wait for it to come to you. It won’t. Your life will be what you make it. You can choose to walk through life as it comes, or you can go out and grab hold of it and make it your own! Fuel your passion and experience every moment to the fullest (AKA - how to get what you want)!

Until next time,

Carol