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The Gift of a Smile

4/28/2015

Most people are so absorbed with their separate lives and interests that they don’t stop to think about the importance of a smile. This hit hone for me on a recent trip to Maui to my granddaughter wedding. During the trip, we went out on a boat to do some snorkeling. One of the crew members was Bob Pedersen. While on the trip, Bob smiled at me, and I smiled back and struck up a conversation. I was surprised to learn that Bob, too, is a published author. It’s amazing how just smiling at someone can open up an entire conversation.

We spoke about our writing experiences, and I made a new friend. At the end of the trip, Bob asked me to wait a moment while he jumped off the boat and went to his locker. He returned with an autographed copy of his beautiful book, Seeds of Awareness – a Journey Towards Self Realization. I was blown away. Not just by the generosity of his gift, but by the book itself. An accomplished poet and photographer, the book is filled with gorgeous photos and art work accompanying his insightful poetry. One of the poems made me think long and hard about the importance of a smile. Here’s what Bob wrote:

How Many Lives
Had been
Touched
How Many Souls
Uplifted
-
How Far
Had that One Smile
Journeyed
BEFORE
Its Magic Met your Eyes
While
Softly Kissing Your Lips
-
The Grace of a Smile
Set – Free
Is
Truly a Gift
Given
Unto the World

Bob’s smile, and his words, made my day. It could have been a small thing that I ignored, but then, I would have missed out on a wonderful opportunity to meet a uniquely talented individual. How many times have you failed to smile back? How often have you looked at someone and not smiled? What opportunities did you miss because you forgot the importance of a smile?

Think about this next time you look at a stranger. Smile at him or her, and give that person and the rest of the world that gift. It’s possible your smile might make a difference in the life of another.

Til Next Time,

Carol

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Keep on Keeping on

4/10/2015

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I started to think about persistence today. This led me to look up some of my favorite quotes about it.

“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” -- Bill Bradley

“Paralyze resistance with persistence.” -- Woody Hayes

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -- Winston Churchill

Persistence is one of my primary characteristics. I just don’t know how to give up. That, and my ignorance, in most cases, that there was no possibility for failure. And, when I look back over my life, persistence has been the characteristic that has led me to some small successes.

I gave up college to get married and have a child. But when my son was eight, I went back and got my degree in education. After another child and a number of years teaching in the secondary school system, I made the leap to get my graduate degree. It was difficult. My husband traveled almost 90 percent of the time for his work, and between working, being a mother and going to school it would have been easy enough to stop trying for an advanced degree. But, I persisted and got it.

Fast forward a few years where I was tasked, now as an executive in a publishing house, to develop a magazine and a companion trade show and conference. With only a handful of team members, I pushed through 14-hour days, sometimes six or seven days a week. But, we did it, and today, almost 30 years later, Special Events magazine and The Special Event are considered leading resources for the event industry.

Not satisfied working for others, my husband and I launched McKibben Communications. We both kept pushing until we had made the Inc. 500 Fastest Growing Companies list three years running. It was perseverance that did the trick there.

Finally, from the time I was 14, and my Daddy told me I was a writer, I knew I had to write something worthy of getting published. So, after starting my own McKibben Consulting writing/editing business and working with my clients, I started writing. My first efforts were awful. Oh, I’d written for other people all my life, but fiction was a new thing for me. So, I restarted with a memoir. My life read like fiction, so why not? I self-published it so that other women wouldn’t make the same mistakes that I had. Then, it was time to go after bigger fish. A piece of fiction that would touch others. It took me a number of years, but I stuck with it, and Luke’s Tale was born. I was in it now. This one got a publisher, and great reviews! All right! So what did I do?

Why, I was persistent. I needed to try something even more “fantastical!” And so, you have Snow Blood Season 1. Snow Blood Season 2 should join it this summer. All I can say is: if you want to succeed in your goals, you have to keep on keeping on!

Till Next Time,

Carol

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The Woes of Social Media

4/2/2015

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I am often astounded by the cruelty of others. Some of the vitriol I see spewing forth on Facebook or Twitter makes me want to avoid social media altogether. Why do people feel they have the right to lash out at others, saying things they wouldn’t dare address to another’s face?

I try never to engage in discussions about politics or religion, because they always seem to turn negative. Once, against my better judgment, I commented on a political statement from one of my friends. I was immediately “jumped” by people whose leanings were obviously the opposite of mine. But, they didn’t leave it there. They started name-calling (apparently I was birthed by a female dog), swearing and being unbelievably rude. Why?

If people are to have a discussion of any consequence, why can’t we dispense with disrespectful, rude behavior? State your case logically; don’t make it personal and emotional. Why can’t that happen? The only answers I can reason are that:

·       Attacking another person helps to boost the attacker’s ego which suffers in self-worth.

·        We behave differently in varied environments; i.e. in a meeting, with friends, in front of our parents. Face-to-face is absent in social media and provides a “shielded” environment.

·       According to an article by Elizabeth Bernstein in The Wall Street Journal research from professors at Columbia University and the University of Pittsburgh found that browsing Facebook lowers our self-control. The effect is most pronounced with people whose Facebook networks were made up of close friends, the researchers say.

·       The study goes on to say that most of us present an enhanced image of ourselves on Facebook. This positive image—and the encouragement we get, in the form of "likes"—boost our self-esteem. And when we have an inflated sense of self, we tend to exhibit poor self-control.

·       "Think of it as a licensing effect: You feel good about yourself so you feel a sense of entitlement," says Keith Wilcox, assistant professor of marketing at Columbia Business School and co-author of the study. "And you want to protect that enhanced view, which might be why people are lashing out so strongly at others who don't share their opinions." These types of behavior—poor self-control, inflated sense of self—"are often displayed by people impaired by alcohol," he adds.

Sadly, this only contributes to a feeling of isolation and a need to withdraw in some who are attacked in social media. In others, it only encourages them to fight back. It’s the old flight or fight scenario.

While technology is a beautiful thing, those who use it need to realize that the image they are creating with rude, often destructive, behavior is one from which others want no association. Inevitably, it forces those of us who long for a more peaceful, loving world to just hit the “unfriend” button.

Yes, unconditional love does have its limits. No one should have to take cruel behavior, whether in-face or on-line.

Til Next Time,

Carol

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Riding Through It

The Gift of a Smile

Keep on Keeping on

The Woes of Social Media

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