Carol F. McKibben
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Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

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Are You Out of Control?

6/30/2016

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Do you often feel depressed or angry? Do you take it out on those closest to you when you are angry? Does doing so give you a small sense of control, so much so that you try to impose your will on other people? 

I had an interesting text exchange with my son-in-law not long ago. He said that he believed that people who try to impose their will on others by requiring them to do everything exactly as they wish it to be done is a sign that person feels out of control. Makes sense that trying to control others would mollify a person's sense of feeling helpless to make the other situations in life different.

Some people can exert that frustration through a hobby. But there are those who feel pinned down and even believe they can't "afford" the luxury of enjoying life with a hobby. The term often used is "I have obligations; you have choices." 

If this is accompanied by deep depression, and you know someone who exhibits these characteristics, it would be wise to help them get professional counseling. Anything else might lead to tragic results.

But, if you live with a person who has little ability to enjoy anything but work or obligations, try your best to encourage that person to stop and smell the roses with you. It's time for an attitude adjustment.  Do you remember the old saying, "You can change your attitude if you so wish"? It's true. A person can elect to be happy or sad, positive or negative.

We all have responsibilities, but they shouldn't consume our lives to the point that nothing else appears important. Let's face it. None of us are getting out alive. As we take in our last breaths, do we want to remember a life full of obligations or one filled with love, laughter and the people (and animals) that mean the most to us?

That doesn't mean that we ever ignore our responsibilities. The key to this all is balance. A balanced life affords us the desire to work hard but enjoy our lives with those we love. 

​I am not a psychologist, but I've lived long enough to know what truly matters in life.  So, if you see someone struggling and out of control, turn on the unconditional love in your heart and help them to see what truly matters.

Til Next Time,
​Carol



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Just Me Being a Little Selfish

6/22/2016

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I always try to write something that I think might be helpful or entertaining. But, today, I am going to be a bit selfish.

It's only because I am so very proud of my Snow Blood Season 3 cover, designed by Skylar Faith of Truenot Dreams. Skylar has designed all my Snow Blood covers, and I think she has done such a beautiful job. What do you think?

The new addition to the series is in pre-order for 99 cents until June 28th, when it will be released. I was so excited this morning when I saw that it was in the Top 100 on Amazon for vampire and paranormal books. And, that's thanks to my great fans who have been out there talking it up. Thank you! The books are for you, and I love you for reading me.

I don't know if people realize how very important it is to an author to hear feedback and opinions from readers. I have to always laugh when I hear an author say he or she doesn't read his reviews. I believe that listening to constructive criticism only helps to make my stories better. As long as it is done with consideration and not to be cruel or destructive, then I truly appreciate what readers have to say. 

The same goes when we have to offer support or help guide a loved one. It should be done with the kindest intentions. The purpose should be to help them improve, not make them feel badly about themselves. Wouldn't you agree? (Didn't mean to get off on a tangent!)

Anyway, I have given my fans who are signed up for my newsletter a preview of the Snow Blood Season 3 trailer. So, I wanted to share this with you. Would love your feedback! Let me know!



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An Inspirational Moment in Time

6/15/2016

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I just returned from the most amazing Writer's Retreat for Troll River Publications' authors. It was held at the beautiful home of one of TRP's best-selling authors. Large enough to accommodate eight of us (all but four of us attended), it was a week of camaraderie, lots of inspiration and time in the swimming pool and jacuzzi! 

What was obvious from the start was everyone's willingness to connect with each other. For those of us who had never met face-to-face, it was a time to get acquainted personally. Manuscripts were read and discussed. Conceptual and editing ideas were exchanged, all done with constructive, loving consideration of each other. 

It was such a safe environment. Safe in the sense that it felt like our own microcosm. Authors got up in the morning when they felt like it; went to bed when they were tired; took naps when they were warranted; shared meals and cocktails together and lots of personal and fictional stories! And the writing... oh, my! Writers sat with their laptops on the patio, in the cabana, in the air conditioned cool of the kitchen and den, and even a "mobile palace" that accommodated two next to the house. All were intently immersed in their latest work(s). Some would stop to read passages or partial chapters to others for comment. Some read entire manuscripts and commented. Some helped others enhance a scene. It was glorious.

Can you say creativity? Can you spell it? Just the sheer energy of everyone connecting with their muses was palpable in the house! 

Our publisher Stephanie was in continuous conversations with her authors discussing book covers, blurbs, book ideas, promotional ideas... she basically held court throughout the week. It was glorious to watch!

So, remember my previous blog about "precious moments?" This was one of them. I hope that this summer you find many precious moments that are meaningful and inspirational for you!

Til Next Time,
​Carol
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Precious Moments

6/2/2016

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My friend and fellow writer, Liese Gardner, posted an exceptional article on May 28th, entitled, "Weekend Inspiration: The Moment." In it, she describes the things we never seem to have time for anymore. She writes:

"Growing up, I remember long summer days that stretched out before us with no plans but to walk to a friend’s house and then walk to another friend’s house, and then … who knows? We’d sit in front of the stereo and listen to a new song (or an old one for the 100th time), pick up a camera and make a goofy film or scramble some eggs at midnight just because that sounded good. I see now how sweet those days of no agenda were. Unfettered time allowed us to be present and let the moment reveal itself."

Do you remember those times? I do.

One of those times is reflected in the photo above. Sadly, my family and I traveled to Charleston, South Carolina, carrying my dear Brother's ashes. He loved Charleston, a frequent vacation spot for us all, and so we took him there to stay in the sea he loved so much. Because we're all spread across the country, we turned it into an unfettered vacation. With the exception of the ceremony on a boat at sea to set my Brother free, it was a week of precious moments. In the photo, we'd gone to eat dinner, found this giant chair and spontaneously posed for a photo.

Just last weekend, my two nieces, Lee and Franny (pictured on the right arm of the chair and in a white blouse in the back row above), spent time together in Florida at Lee's home to celebrate Franny's birthday. (See photo below.) I lived vicariously through the photos that they shared on Facebook. Oh, how I wish I could have been with them! Such a priceless moment in time.

​But, on Sunday, I will board an airplane with my daughter Stephanie. She the girl on the chair in the front on the left. She is my publisher (and my toughest critic I might add), and we are traveling to a Writer's Retreat outside of Dallas. The majority of her stable of writers will gather together there to work, yes, but more importantly to share precious moments together. There will be pool time, game time, trail riding (yes, our hostess has horses!), lots of food and wine and time to do whatever strikes us. More importantly, I will have precious time with my youngest child, of whom I am so very proud. How wonderful is that? Nothing is planned. It will be kinetic and unfold however it happens. I can't think of anything more wonderful than maybe her Brother becoming a writer and joining us! Unfortunately, he's busy running his company, and BTW, I am also very proud of him too.

So, I'll be skipping my note to you next week. I know you'll understand. And, I hope you will take time to find precious moments with those you love. After all, those are the memories that we always seem to remember the most, aren't they? 

Til Next Time,
Carol

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