Carol F. McKibben
  • Home
  • About Carol
    • Services >
      • Clients
      • Testimonials
    • Contact
  • Books
    • Luke's Tale
    • Snow Blood: Season 1
    • Snow Blood: A Vampire Mystery Thriller - Season 2
    • Snow Blood: A Vampire Mystery Thriller - Season 3
    • Snow Blood: Season 4 (A Vampire Mystery Thriller)
    • Snow Blood: Season 5 (A Vampire Mystery Thriller)
    • Kane: The First Blood Son
    • Moon Blood: Book 1
    • Moon Blood Book 2
    • Moon Blood Book 3
    • Moon Blood Book 4
    • Moon Blood Book 5
    • Reign - The Assault of Lucifer Morningstar - Book 1 Silver Blood Knight Series
    • Riding Through It
    • Media Kits
  • Free eBook
  • Blog

Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

My Books

Training and Trust

2/18/2014

0 Comments

 
Picture
 Along with millions of others, I’ve been glued to the television watching the Olympics. Besides the half-pipe, my secret pleasure is ice dancing. I was thrilled to see Meryl Davis and Charlie White win gold. As I followed every twist, dip and turn, each side-by-side so dangerously close together, all I could think of was the total trust they obviously had in each other.


Picture
Later, I went online to view a video about them entitled, Training and Trust. It takes years of training to perfect what they do, and as many years to build the trust that they have for each other. But the years of training have allowed them to build that trust.

What is trust, anyway? It is the belief that “I am safe. You are safe. The world of us is safe.”

No relationship, athletic in nature or not, can survive without trust. Once it is broken, it is virtually impossible to restore without years of rebuilding it. Can it be rebuilt? Yes, if the one who has broken the trust is reliable, consistent, responsive and comforting.


Picture
Here are 8 guidelines loosely based on Sheri Meyers’ book, Chatting or Cheating,  to help rebuild trust. While the book primarily deals with healing romantic partnerships, the guidelines can be applied to any relationship.

• Live up to your word – call when you say you will – show up when you say you will.  

• Allow your significant other time and space to vent. This means answering many questions, allowing judgment and rage aimed at you while you stand strong and apologize and reach out with compassion and understanding.

• Do what you can do to change the situation and make it better.

• Accept that there will be inevitable bumps, obstacles, and setbacks. Have a plan in place to help you stay calm and centered while you navigate through the ups and downs rather than being shocked and overreacting.

• Take full responsibility for your actions and choices and determine how you won’t make the same mistakes again.

• No lies, no excuses, no exceptions. Keep your promises. Maintain unwavering integrity.

• Show affection, attention and appreciation every day in big and small ways.

• When the relationship gets stuck or starts to struggle, ask yourself, “How would love respond?” Tell the other person how much he or she means to you and how sorry you are for the pain you caused. Assure with “We will get through this.” Repeat as necessary.

Meyers is a relationship therapist with more than 20 years of experience. She asserts that the road back from distrust to trust takes perseverance, patience, commitment and time. Once you come to grips with it, the more successful you will be with healing the relationship. When you think about it, these guidelines work for maintaining trust and not just rebuilding it.

Til Next Time,
Carol


0 Comments



Leave a Reply.

    Author

    Carol McKibben

    Archives

    March 2021
    February 2021
    December 2020
    November 2020
    September 2020
    August 2020
    June 2020
    May 2020
    April 2020
    March 2020
    February 2020
    January 2020
    December 2019
    November 2019
    October 2019
    September 2019
    June 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013

    Categories

    All
    Belief In Self
    How To Get What You Want
    How To Love Unconditionally
    Inspiration
    Just For Fun
    Moon Blood
    On Writing
    Snow Blood
    Things You Should Know About Luke's Tale
    Virtual Book Tour
    Words Of Wisdom
    Writing For A Living

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.