That’s probably not news to you, but do you know why a happy relationship suddenly turns cold? I didn’t either until it happened to me. And, I’ve been married since 1974!
No, my marriage didn’t end, because I was fortunate to figure out why my husband went from completely loving to distant, moody and sometimes openly avoiding me!
Any marriage, even the best of relationships, has its ups and downs. Ours happened when the economy dumped and things got financially difficult for us. Yes, most of us have been there and done that! And that’s when I caught myself being critical. Certain words or phrases or my tone of voice would send Mark into a distant mood. And during this time period, it hit me. Men want to be respected and admired, even more than loved. Years later, James Bauer, a relationship coach and student of psychology, has completed research showing that when given the choice between being unloved but respected that most men will choose that over being loved but disrespected. Interesting, right?
What did I do? I changed my attitude for one thing. I started to show Mark my respect for him. I became careful about how I worded things when we were having serious conversations. I kept my tone of voice more upbeat and not critical. And his mood changed significantly, and almost immediately. Our relationship became stronger than ever before, and all with just a few simple changes from me.
Now, some of you might be thinking, “Why should the heavy lifting have to be on the female?” Well, when hasn’t it been, ladies? Consider this, women have always been the glue that holds any relationship together. That’s our lot in life. Do you think that isn’t fair? Think again. It’s pretty much the way it is!
James Bauer calls it “The Respect Principle” and has written a short digital download entitled What Men Secretly Want but Won’t Tell You. He provides a free presentation at the link I’ve provided, and it’s worth the time to watch, even if you don’t purchase his download for $47! It provides great insight, and definitely will make you stop and think about your relationships – both present and past.
Honestly, when you think about it, “respect” is such a key to a great relationship. And, if you can make a few simple changes to safeguard a relationship, why would you?
Til Next Time,
P.S. I have no attachment to James Bauer’s research or offerings. I just want to share whatever will help all of us maintain unconditional love for each other!