Carol F. McKibben
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Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

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Tell Me Why ...

11/18/2015

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Tell me why it takes a tragedy like the one in Paris last Friday to bring the world together.

Tell me why people can’t extend love and support to each other on a daily basis.

Tell me why we get so caught up in our individual lives that we forget about the pain and suffering of others.

Tell me why it is so hard to love each other unconditionally.

Perhaps there is so much hatefulness in the world that we are forced to build a barrier around ourselves to stay safe?

How can I make you understand that sharing yourself with others, offering your love and support outwardly and helping others all the time – not just when tragedy strikes – is the key to loving unconditionally. You will find that doing so opens you up to a more self-actualized, happier person.

It’s not easy to change your mindset. But you can work on being less “inward,” less selfish throughout your day. That means spending time thinking about how others are feeling instead of always putting “me, me, me” first. So how about this. The next time you have an interaction with someone, really observe that person. Focus on how that person is feeling. Take a long look at his or her body language. Find out what he or she has been doing. Instead of re-directing the conversation back to yourself, focus on the other person. The more aware you are about “re-directing” to make others more important than yourself, the easier it will become to really care about other people.

Wikihow has a somewhat corny but insightful presentation on how to make the transition. See what you think.

Somewhat related but to the point is a section I am writing for Snow Blood – A Vampire Mystery Thriller – Season 3. In it, Snow Blood is in a life or death situation. While he is looking after his own self-preservation, his main concern is the consequences his rescue might have on his family. In it, the kindred dog makes all his decisions based on the safety and welfare of those he loves.

This leads me to cautioning that there is a difference between taking good care of yourself and your own needs for the sake of what others want or need and just being plain selfish. But, my novels always emphasize caring more about others than self, and the dogs in my stories always illustrate that point. So don’t ever think you’re being selfish when you are merely looking after your own well-being!
 
Till Next Time,
Carol


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