My curiosity recently got the better of me. I went on a search to see what etiquette book is No. 1 on the Amazon hit list. To say I was initially shocked at what I discovered is an understatement. However, when I examined the content more closely, it makes perfect sense.The name of the book is Make Him BEG For Your Attention: 75 Communication Secrets For Captivating Men To Get The Love And Commitment You Deserve and the author is Bruce Bryans.
And, please, this isn’t an infomercial or an endorsement for the book. However, while examining the book, my brain started to whirl, because the “secret” Bryans unveils isn’t just something that only women can use. Everyone can use this info to attract others.
Part of being successful is having other people want to “listen to you” and “to hear what you have to say with an open mind.” Who doesn’t want to have others crave your attention?
According to Bryans, being irresistible can come from within and not just from your looks. It’s the ability to keep someone captivated. It’s called “graceful communication.”
How many times have you been shut out or shut down during a conflict? Do you know why you’ve lost the battle? It’s because you didn’t communicate respectfully. Bryans says if you want a man to listen to you without ignoring you or losing his temper, learn to talk “mangracefully.”
That means that if a man doesn’t feel respected when you speak or write to him, you won’t be able to connect with him on any level, particularly on an intimate level. And, without that intimate connection, nothing you can say or do will keep him interested in you.
As a man, I totally understand this. A man needs to feel emotionally secure with a woman. If the woman fails to communicate respectfully, the man won’t feel comfortable sharing his whole heart with her.
And, to gain any man’s loyalty and undivided attention, why won’t this work for anyone — woman or man? It’s important to know exactly what to say and when to say it and how to say it to get what you want.
Men enjoy being gracefully influenced by the women they adore. This means being able to tell someone exactly what’s on your mind without shutting him down, learning how to ask for what you want and making the other person happy to give it to you, discovering how to have a difficult conversation without making him resent or resist, and knowing how to get the other person to open up to you.
This means don’t criticize, avoid the dreaded “we need to talk” comment, not attacking his ego, not bringing up past faults, not making hostile facial expressions, and being reasonable, just to name a few.
Much of this is just common sense, but, unfortunately, when emotions take over, much of this advice (that you know is critical to understand) flies right out the window.
So, while this isn’t a commercial for this book, I do think that it’s one that I will read from cover to cover. I think anyone who cares about their relationships should read it as well. There’s a reason it’s the No. 1 book in the etiquette category. It’s something that we all need to study and embrace.
At The Key Class, we always stress the importance of treating others with great respect. Graceful communication is as important in the workplace as it is in personal relationships. Knowing how to persuade, garner loyalty, create trust and instilling a feeling of security with others is paramount in all your relationships — whether they be at the office, in relationships or just everyday interaction with others.
It’s a “graceful” way to find success and happiness. Don’t you agree?
I certainly agree with John. I've tried this in my own personal life, and it works. Do you have experiences or concerns that you'd like to share on the subject? Just comment below!
Til Next Time,
— John Daly is the founder and president of The Key Class, the keys to life skills success. Click to learn more about The Key Class. John’s new book, 74 Key Life Skills for a Happy, Successful Life, is available on Amazon. Click here to receive a FREE eBook copy of The Key Class. Do you have a question about business or social etiquette? Ask John at johnKeyClass@gmail.com. Connect with The Key Class on Facebook and follow John on Twitter @johnjdalyjr.