Carol F. McKibben
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Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

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I Found My Fork!

1/5/2016

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"I found my fork!" My friend Gerry exclaimed as he entered  the barn office this morning.

"What do you mean you 'found your fork?" I asked.

And so, he proceeded to explain. About 27 years ago, Gerry had, through the malicious intent of others, become homeless for a period of 14 months. After suffering from a broken neck, he literally lived in his truck during that time until he could recover and get on his feet again. He had been financially wiped out by a heartless ex-wife who abandoned him and left him with nothing.

Gerry is a talented masseur who works on both people and horses. He's a veteran Marine whose life could make for a very interesting book.  But ... back to the fork.

As Gerry began to recover, he learned the art of massage and brought home his first paycheck. One of the first purchases he made was a Noritake flatware set that he found on sale. It was something he had always wanted, because as he explained, his parents stole flatware from restaurants in order to allow the family to have eating utensils! He always envied those who had beautiful silverware. So, this first purchase was very important to him.

As time went on, one of his relatives' children snagged one of his Noritake forks and used it to dig in the dirt in a cornfield. As luck would have it, the kid lost the fork. And afterward, the missing fork weighed on Gerry's mind, until last week. He went on eBay and found an exact replacement for it plus an extra! He smiled at me, scratched his beard and said, "It was one of those things that just bothers all of us for the longest time. Now, I can cross it off my list!"

"One of those things that just bother us!" We all have them. Those nagging little details that might not matter to anyone else. For instance, I had this annoying habit that bugged my husband Mark for about 40 years! We would get in bed, and just as he was about to fall asleep, I'd ask him a question. You see, my brain seems to fill up with a myriad of questions before it shuts down. While all he wants to do is go to sleep, I want to ask questions! "Can we re-glue the broken tile tomorrow? Did you take care of the house payment? What are we going to do for Stephanie's birthday?" Questions that could wait, but I hadn't learned that there's a better time to ask than bedtime.

Fortunately, we finally had a great discussion about it. From Mark's point of view, my questions gave him problems to solve. And you know men; when women ask them a question, it becomes a problem for them to solve if they don't have an immediate answer. And, just when he was trying to go to sleep. Those questions woke him right up, and he'd lie there  for hours thinking about them, while I was fast asleep, I might add. So, we made a pact. No more questions after getting into bed! Problem solved! Fork retrieved. Thank, God!

We all have missing forks that we need to replace. Instead of letting them "bug" you for years, come up with a solution and end the frustration. That's what Luke and Snow Blood would do. If a dog can do it, so can you.

So share what fork you'd like to replace with me, and let's think of a solution!

Til Next Time,
Carol
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