Carol F. McKibben
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Riding Through It

There's an expression that horse trainers use whenever a client's ride becomes difficult - "Keep riding through it." I've heard it at least a hundred times while riding my horse. It's a function of good horsemanship. If you give up or get off in the midst of difficulties, you might win the battle that day but lose the war in the long run. Learning to be really good at something takes persistence and time. Such it is with life; so it is with writing.

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Fantasy or Reality?

3/9/2016

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I'll admit it. My secret pleasure is watching reality shows. Particularly The Bachelor franchise. Why? Because it's about love, of course. At this point, you are raising your eyebrows at my words and telling me to get a grip. "It's fake!" "Those relationships aren't real!"

Well, actually, a few of them have worked out. There's Jason and Molly, Sean and Catherine, Trista and Ryan and Ashley and JP - all of  whom are married. Desiree and Chris and Kaitlyn and Shawn are still together and engaged. 

As nutty as it seems, in this day and age, who can say it's impossible to fall in love on a reality show? The couples I listed above certainly have committed to their relationships It's better than meeting in a bar! Is it any more far-fetched than online dating? I know numerous couples who have met online, fallen in love in person and are celebrating a number of years being married.

So what's my point? Should anyone hesitate to look for love even in strange places? I certainly write about love in unusual circumstances - between dogs and humans, between humans, between vampires.

But finding someone to love isn't always as difficult as staying together after falling in love. Look around you. How many divorced people do you know? Or how many do you know who have been married more than once? I can raise my hand to that one. Third time was charm for me. (BTW, Mark and I have been married since 1974!)

It all leads back to loving someone unconditionally. When you put limitations on another person in order to love them, you're doomed to failure. Or, if you marry someone thinking you can change them, you're wrong again. (I can definitely attest to that one.)  People need to be free to be whomever they are. And, when you love someone, you should love them for who he or she really is, not what you want or expect them to be.

Think about it. Do you place conditions on those you love? If you do, don't do that! Try putting the other person's feelings above your own. If you do, you might just discover a life-long relationship.

If you enjoy my ramblings, click here to sign up for my email list and get a free eBook for your trouble! I hope you do!

Til Next Time,
Carol


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